Introducing my Friends!

Meet my friend Dusty

Here I am, opening the door to my friend Dusty ,He's an X soldier, X airman and now spends his working days as a guide dog mobility instructor. Dusty trained me with my current guide dog Gypsy and against all odds we managed to remain friends afterwards.

Mags: "Hi Dust! Come in to the kitchen, have a fag and I'll pour you a coffee"
Dusty:"Hi Mags, how are you doing honey?"
Mags: "I'm just great Dust, but I'm a bit worried about Gypsy"
Dusty: "Why, what's wrong?"
Mags: "Well, she keeps insisting on taking me places"
Dusty: "Mags! that's what she's trained for"
Mags: "Yes I know, but I don't want to go to the pub and fish and chip shop everytime I go out"
Dusty: "What are you trying to tell me honey?"
Mags: "Well you did train her!"
Dusty: "GRUNT"
Mags: "Another thing, why can't I lay my underwear down for two seconds without her running off with it?"
Dusty: "Hey! don't blame me for that, she never went anywhere near my undies when I had her"
Mags: "She has got a bit of sense then"
Dusty: "Mutter mutter"
Mags: "Some good news though"
Dusty: "Yeh! what's that?"
Mags: "I've devised a way of stopping her bringing me horrible, dead things when she's out for a free run"
Dusty: "Fantastic! how did you manage it?"
Mags: "Well it was quite simple really"
Dusty: "Yeh?"
Mags: "I taught her to take them to the nearest passer by"
Dusty:"Very ingenious honey, [sigh], think I need another fag"
Mags: "Do you remember the first time you came down to visit me Dust?"
Dusty: "Sure do honey"
Mags: "You said, we'd have a few laughs when I came up to train with Gypsy"
Dusty: "Did I say that?"
Mags: "Yes, you did, I didn't fully understand what you meant at the time"
Dusty: "I'm not sure I do now!"
Mags: "Come on, we had a good time didn't we?"
Dusty: "Did we, remind me, I've forgotten"
Mags: "How could you forget, you said I was out of all your then and previous students the best!"
Dusty: "Mags, Mags, the way I recall it, I'm positive I said the PEST!"
Mags: "[grin], you are funny Dusty!"
Dusty: "[sigh]"
Mags: "My Dusty, the training centre has wonderful facilities, hasn't it?"
Dusty: "Do you think so?"
Mags: "Oh yes, I do"
Dusty:"Well, why did you flood the place the second day you arrived, which consequently fused all the lights and had theadministration staff, sitting in the dark for hours with water dripping on their heads?"
Mags: "Oh Dusty, you didn't imagine I did that without a good reason, did you?"
Dusty: "You had a reason?"
Mags: "Of course, I was simply testing out the emergency procedures, to make sure you guys had paid attention at emergency drill, as for the office staff, well, [smile], it gave them a good opportunity to see what it's like to work in the dark and as for the water coming down through the ceiling, we were splashing about outside in the pouring rain at the same time weren't we?"
Dusty: "[Sigh], never thought about it like that Mags"
Mags: "Knew you would understand when I explained it to you, smile]"
Dusty: "Silly of me not to have understood it before, [sigh]"
Mags: "It's a great advantage having a bar in the centre, isn't it?"
Dusty: "hmm"
Mags: "you don't sound too sure Dust"
Dusty: "only because, it took at least six runs to the off licence in the mini-bus to restock the bar after you left!"
Mags: "You're not saying our class liked to drink a lot are you?"
Dusty: "No, no, no, not the class, just you and your friend Jean!"
Mags: "We only drank for medicinal purposes, red wine and brandy are good for the circulation"
Dusty: "Yes, I remember you telling us that at the time"
Mags: "We got through the course without seizing up didn't we?"
Dusty: "Yeh.."
Mags: "Well, there you are then, it worked"
Dusty: "I think I need another fag"
Mags: "Remember the night when we gate crashed you and Dave's party?"
Dusty: "Oh yes, it was a good night"
Mags: "It was, but I still can't figure out what we were supposed to learn by Dave tap dancing on top of the table"
Dusty: "Did he knock any drinks over on your lap?"
Mags: "No.."
Dusty: "There you are then"
Mags: "What do you mean, I still don't get it"
Dusty: "He was merely demonstrating how much you could achieve with a visual impairment"
Mags: "Visual impairment, Dusty he isn't blind"
Dusty: "For goodness sake Mags, I know that!"
Mags: "Well?"
Dusty: "He was blind drunk, wasn't he?"
Mags: "Oh I get it now, very good, I'll have to try it the next time I'm at the Women's Institute's christmas party"
Dusty: "You're kidding me aren't you?"
Mags: "Would I lie to you pal?"
Dusty: "As a matter of fact, yes, you would!"
Mags: "How can you say that!"
Dusty: "Quite easily, you promised me a coffee when I first arrived and I'm still waiting!"
Mags: "Oops! so I did, help yourself to a biscuit while I pour it, do you still take sugar?"
Dusty: "Yes, I do thanks"
Mags: "You know, you shouldn't eat so many sweet things, you'll put on weight and you won't fit in to that lovely green woolly I knitted you when I was at the centre"
Dusty: "Ah the woolly!"
Mags: "Hope you're wearing it, especially with this cold spell we're having"
Dusty: "Well.."
Mags: "You mean, you aren't wearing it and it was so cute as well, with that funny face embroidered on it and those tassles!"
Dusty: "Honest Mags, I loved it, I even ate the black pudding you stuffed it with for my breakfast the very next morning after you gave it me, but.."
Mags: "But what Dusty"
Dusty: "Did you have to knit it with that really scratchy wool?""
Mags: "Dusty, are you a man or a mouse?"
Dusty: "Well, I sure sounded like a mouse when I wore it, my voice rose by 3 octaves, [squeek squeek!]"
Mags: "I must say, you have a good singing voice and the way you strum that guitar, well what can I say!"
Dusty: "Gee that's a real nice thing to say honey"
Mags: "Have you learned any songs yet?"
Dusty: "Songs... what do you mean I know thousands of them"
Mags: "Do you! how come you never sang one all the way through when I was there?"
Dusty: "Didn't I?"
Mags: "No, and some of them I hadn't heard before either, so I couldn't help you"
Dusty: "Ah well, I can explain that, I learned most of my songs when I was in the forces"
Mags: "Ah marching songs eh?"
Dusty: "Marching songs, Mags please... I mean... you wouldn't know them because, hmm, well... they're a bit rude, and you being a lady and all"
Mags: "OK that explains why I didn't know them but what's your excuse?"
Dusty: "Well Mags, you know what my memory's like"
Mags: "God, do I! you called me Jean for the first 2 weeks of the class"
Dusty: "Yes, but I've improved since then, trust me!"
Mags: "Have you?"
Dusty: "Yes, I don't forget my client's names any more"
Mags: "That's wonderful Dusty, how have you overcome your memory loss?"
Dusty: "I call the girls luvvie and the guys mate"
Mags: "Dusty..."
Dusty: "Yeh?"
Mags: "Have a fag"
Dusty: "No thanks, I've given them up"
Mags: "But you've smoked your way through half a packet since you arrived!"
Dusty: "Woops! I must have forgotten, ah sh.. hmm, give me a fag, I'll stop again tomorrow, if I remember that is!"

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